


Please Forgive Me (For All I've Done)

by ADreamIsASoftPlaceToLand



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Arum pov for that scene, Arum's speech, Arum's trial, F/M, Minor suicidal ideation, Second Citadel (Penumbra Podcast), what was he thinking when he saw Rilla in the crowd?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-22 19:37:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21307496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ADreamIsASoftPlaceToLand/pseuds/ADreamIsASoftPlaceToLand
Summary: Arum looks into the crowd, eyes drawn towards the interruption, and sees her.
Relationships: Lord Arum/Rilla (Penumbra Podcast), Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla (Penumbra Podcast)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 40





	Please Forgive Me (For All I've Done)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MarbledOpalescence](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarbledOpalescence/gifts).

> written for @badass-sunshine on tumblr for the prompt "You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen"
> 
> title from Imagine Dragons song "I Bet My Life"

His eyes lock on the source of the noise in the crowd, and he’s sure his heart stops. He can just barely see her, poorly disguised, hidden amongst the _ very real _ monsters that surround her. He knows it’s her, though. He would recognize that fire in her eyes anywhere. _ You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, _ he thinks, before he can stop himself. Then his gut rolls as he processes the sight of the human. _ Amaryllis, what have you done? Why have you- _

And then it hits him like a thunderbolt. Her voice rings clear in his mind, _“You don’t just get to hide away!! Your actions have consequences you- you COWARD!!” _

_Of course. She came here for him. No-_ he shakes away that ridiculous thought before it goes too far._ BECAUSE of him. She has a family. People she cares about. Of course she would come here, follow him to the ends of the world. She’d do anything to- _This is his fault. She has risked her life, will probably lose it, too, if that disguise is as poor as it looks from this distance. He cannot- _will not_ \- let that have been for nothing. So, as the Judge snaps him back to attention, he squares his shoulders, lifts his chin, looking to Amaryllis, and speaks. 

“I granted... two of the most beautiful blooms in the world their freedom. The freedom to do what they most wished. No matter the pain or… _ consequences _ to me. It is not even half forgiveness for what I have done but… I did what good deeds I could when I saw the opportunity. That is all.” 

He stares out into the crowd. He can no longer see her, the monsters have moved and blocked her from his view. _ Good, _ he thinks. _ I’ve given you what you came for. I was foolish not to give it to you sooner. Go now. Save your people. Leave me, and go home to the people you love. Be safe. _

  
It is a foolish thought. Amaryllis will almost certainly perish in this world of monsters, and if she does manage to make it back to her Citadel… There is little she could do to save herself. He built this fear monster himself, he knows what it is capable of. He has given them the only chance they have, and he can take comfort in that. And he knows, in this moment, that Amaryllis is right. He is a coward. For, even though he has almost certainly ensured the destruction of the humans he _ loves _ (he knows now that that is what this is, this desperate fire and fear in his chest), as he is led away from the podium, he takes comfort in the fact that he will not be around to see it.

**Author's Note:**

> come find me @shorter-than-her-tbr-pile on tumblr!


End file.
